Grandma's Good Living Protocols

I have gotten a lot of requests about the term protocol and 'Grandma's Good Living Protocols'. Protocol comes from when Max was living in Compton, CA during the summer of 2008 while working for Mattel. He lived with a Finnish room mate, Jaako, who worked for the military defense company Raytheon. Jaako had some strange quirks and sayings, such as egging SUVs while laconically repeating "good...good..." He also watched romance movies as porn because "you get so into the characters and then when they finally bone it's AWESOME!" Nice enough guy, just had some wierd perks.

While I was visiting the two on my trip to the San Diego ComiCon 2008, we got into a conversation of wierd work jargon. (I worked in the morgue at the time, and there were all sorts of wierd terms we used.) Jaako would constantly be asked if projects he was working on were 'up to protocol' - or 'protocol' for short - always said in a really stern and authoritative voice. Max and I thought this was hilarious, so we began asking if everything was 'protocol'. When we made dinner, had to be sure it was up to protocol. Drinking a beer? Make sure it's protocol. Slaying a brown snake? No better time to review bathroom protocols. The word was inemic.

So after a long day of tripping and settling into the cerebral phase of good LSD at Grandma's Pleasure Palace in La Jolla we started talking about what it meant for something to be 'protocol.' We had been using it to describe pretty much everything, but being surrounded by the simple luxury of Jopi's house we realized that something can be good, something can be awesome, something can be essential for daily life - all without being protocol. For something to be protocol it has to be essential for good times and good living. The way Max's grandma Jopi lives is protocol to a T.

It's a slippery slope and a lot of gray area is involved in determining how protocol something is, and whether it deserves the title of protocality. Max and I have had countless debates discussing whether something deserves to go on this list, and it continually is added to. As Max and I have begun living together we strive to make our apartment as protocol as possible. Protocality hasn't become just an idea for us, but a lifestyle we strive to cultivate around us.

GRANDMA'S GOOD LIVING PROTOCOLS

• Good, healthy, organic food. Preferably grown in your own garden. Cook and prepare as much as you can yourself. Along with this is learning how to cook good food, whether for one person or ten.
  
• Rugs. Oriental is better than plain - must be soft for laying on and beautiful to look at.
  
• Good sound system. Music has the ability to transform mood and seeing how much I listen to, a good sound system is a sound (no pun intended) investment.
• A full/queen sized bed with clean sheets and soft blankets. Humans spend at least a third of their lives in bed, and having ample room is important. Must be big enough for two people, but not so big that when one person is in it that they feel lonely. Soft blankets are important for the winter (especially in Utah) and cuddling up.
• Good beer/liquor. Beer is delicious, and liquor can be as well. Never skimp on either. Buy local microbrews opposed to shitty Domestics. Brewing your own beer is also super protocol.
• A porch/balcony/outside space. This goes hand in hand with that most sacred of rites, Porch Times (another topic for another post.) South or west facing is optimal for sun.
• Things made out of natural materials like wood, metal, or glass and fabrics like linen, cotton, and wool. Plastic is a horrible material due to it's feel, cheapness, and artificiality - not to mention the environmental impacts.
  
• Books. It doesn't matter if you have The Lorax or A Kierkegaard Anthology on your bookshelf, but having books is important. It's tangible collective knowledge, reference material, and a comforting friend all in one. Having a good collection of books that have meaning and signifigance to you is essential for good living.
• Animals. Cats are preferrable since they are good companions, but unfortunately some people such as myself can't have cats due to allergies or housing restrictions. Max and I currently have a pair of hooded rex rats I rescued from a laboratory and they have been the most protocol pets I have ever owned. They are extremely intelligent, loving, and very low maintenance.
  
• A big desk/table. Max and I both like to have numerous projects going on our workspaces, and clutter is the enemy of productivity. A big desk with a few drawers for supplies or a big, old wood coffee table is preferrable.
• Learning to play a musical instrument. If you love music, at some point you must be a participant and not an observer.
• Good chairs/seats. Max and I both agree that the most protocol chair is an old 70's bucket/papasan chair. Unfortunately it is hard to get work done in these chairs as they are so conducive for relaxing and enjoying life. But good chairs are important for work, relaxing, and Porch Times.
• Good tea for the winter time. (Thanks Lauryn!)
• Learning a proper DIY attitude - learning to make your own food from scratch, learning how to repair and build furniture, and learning how to make and mend your clothing. (Thanks Lauryn!)
• Delicious ice cream and/or gelato for the summer time. (Thanks Lauryn!)
  

I'll update this list as I remember/new items come. E-mail me with any recommendations you have on things that are essential for good living.